Tomorrow, 8 o'clock

I am currently taking a break from studying for my final exams! Not just any final exams, but final, final exams. I don't think the reality that as of 8 o'clock tomorrow night I will officially be done with my college career has actually set in. What? Could it be real? It doesn't seem like it considering I am on the verge of pulling my hair out, crying and screaming all at once! This is what my calendar and To-Do List looked like last week

 Yikes would you be on the verge of tears too? Me and my To-Do lists, sometimes I think they are a good idea and other times not so much. Here is what yesterday and today and tomorrow look like. Oh the joys of college and studying for exams and writing papers and yada yada yada NO MORE I say, please! 

I have been doing it for four years, I can do it for 24 more hours right? Yes, yes I can! This is it! Wow!


ps. Don't you just love my priority to the Jazz?! They are amazing and I love them!

2.2.2.2.2.2.2.2

2 it is just a number, but today is two years. I was wearing a pretty yellow tank top, yellow cardigan, my brown skinny jeans and gold flats. My hair was down, my make up all gone from crying. I made my self go to each class, to give my presentation, even though my insides were aching, and I knew he wasn't going to survive. We would all be left here with out him, to wonder, to be angry, to cry, to remember and to become better. I finished my 20 minute presentation, checked my phone and saw six missed calls from my best friend, Liz. I knew it was coming. I called her back and hearing her voice and those two words "He's gone."was the hardest moment in my life. We both cried and said we could do this, I hung up... numb, confused and not wanting to accept. I collapsed on the grass sobbing, calling my mom who didn't believe it. That was the day Matt died and two years later it still hurts, I still feel numb, I still get angry and confused, but I remember and I strive to be better. I know he is with me everyday and watching over us. I love you and miss you terribly Matt, so much that it physically hurts, paralyzes me at times, but I have to keep going and move forward with my accomplishments, but you have to stay with me.

Today I just want to remember. Remember not the pain, even though I feel it, but I want to remember all the little things that Matt did, that I loved, the things that drove me crazy and made me so mad at him, I want to remember my life with Matt. He was my best friend and he always will be no matter how much time passes, but 2 years come and gone and it still hurts. My mom said this morning at least it isn't just the day after and I agree. It has been the hardest 2 years of my life, but there has been so much change and so much growth and imagining going back to the day right after it happened would be impossible. I can do this, I can keep moving forward and keep striving to live my life in a way that makes me happy.

Love you and Miss you! As I would say when you left my dorm each day and dropped me off "Cya wouldn't wanna be ya." You hated that, but you loved it and you waited every time to hear it.

.::. Happy Easter .::.

Is This Real?

I bought my cap and gown yesterday... It must be true, I'm really graduating!

May 7, 2010 hope you all can be there!

This was a good day

2 HR LAW EXAM = MUSHY BRAIN!

BUT IT IS ALL OVER FINALLY!!

This is how I feel... like I'm floating

.::. Spring Break .::.

Spring: The season after Winter and before Summer, in which vegetation begins to appear.
Break: Stop proceedings in order to have a pause or vacation

Sorry it has been so long since I have blogged, life has been crazy. Not that, that is anything new, but here a little update on the happenings of my life:

* I started my new job a little over a month ago and I'll be honest it as been really overwhelming, but I am getting a hang of it and I think it will be a great learning experience for me. I just finished our company monthly newsletter, all by myself basically and I am really proud! It was very stressful writing six articles about the mortgage industry, which I know nothing about, but it is looking good and I am happy with it! I also have had 5 of my press releases sent out on the wire and one of them was so good that IDS will be the feature article in a mortgage trade magazine... exciting I know ha! That is all for work. 

* School is going well, hard, but well! I just have to remind myself May 7th!!! 

* Yes GRADUATION is MAY 7TH!! --> Sending out graduation announcements soon, do you put a picture in these? You tell me? Peter, Britt? Haha

* Dating... all the time

* I also just found out that I got the Connie Blount (my friend from PCHS who was killed a week before Matt) scholarship to go with the Park City 5 Foundation down to Bolivia in July and help build a school. I am really really excited about that and I think it is just the thing I will need this summer after graduating.

* Even though I am busy and going all the time, my life is pretty good! I have been so blessed the last two years through all the trials and loss, but things are coming together, let's hope!

As for right now, I am on spring break! A much needed vacation... usually I go to Hawaii, but since I started a new job I didn't think I could ask for time off already, especially to go to Hawaii. So here I am in Moab with my parents having a much needed break from my crazy world. Thank you Chuds for letting us stay in your house. I wish you all a happy weekend and happy Friday, or as they say in Hawaii Aloha Friday. Miss you Meg, Corb, Indie and my baby nephew in there, wish I was there like so many past years, June will be here soon.

Exercise= Happiness

"Exercise give you endorphins, endorphins make you happy, happy people just don't shoot their husbands."

-Elle Woods, Legally Blonde

My life is crazy, busy, up and down, go, go, go, study and more studying. I get pretty overwhelmed and stressed out and I have found that running for an hour each day keeps me sane. So thank you exercise for keeping me going, keeping me happy, I need as many endorphins as I can get these days.

Smile it is sunny today in beautiful Park City! Relish it and soak it up!