2 it is just a number, but today is two years. I was wearing a pretty yellow tank top, yellow cardigan, my brown skinny jeans and gold flats. My hair was down, my make up all gone from crying. I made my self go to each class, to give my presentation, even though my insides were aching, and I knew he wasn't going to survive. We would all be left here with out him, to wonder, to be angry, to cry, to remember and to become better. I finished my 20 minute presentation, checked my phone and saw six missed calls from my best friend, Liz. I knew it was coming. I called her back and hearing her voice and those two words "He's gone."was the hardest moment in my life. We both cried and said we could do this, I hung up... numb, confused and not wanting to accept. I collapsed on the grass sobbing, calling my mom who didn't believe it. That was the day Matt died and two years later it still hurts, I still feel numb, I still get angry and confused, but I remember and I strive to be better. I know he is with me everyday and watching over us. I love you and miss you terribly Matt, so much that it physically hurts, paralyzes me at times, but I have to keep going and move forward with my accomplishments, but you have to stay with me.
Today I just want to remember. Remember not the pain, even though I feel it, but I want to remember all the little things that Matt did, that I loved, the things that drove me crazy and made me so mad at him, I want to remember my life with Matt. He was my best friend and he always will be no matter how much time passes, but 2 years come and gone and it still hurts. My mom said this morning at least it isn't just the day after and I agree. It has been the hardest 2 years of my life, but there has been so much change and so much growth and imagining going back to the day right after it happened would be impossible. I can do this, I can keep moving forward and keep striving to live my life in a way that makes me happy.
Love you and Miss you! As I would say when you left my dorm each day and dropped me off "Cya wouldn't wanna be ya." You hated that, but you loved it and you waited every time to hear it.
